India: Chapter Four

Tuesday, February 23. The day our last baby turned one year, the day my only sister was officially married.

This particular tale really begins on Monday...when Ashish went to do the preliminary paperwork at the courthouse, and needed Anna's passport. Well...said passport was sitting on her desk in Jammu, an overnight train ride away! Many phone calls, pleads with the boss, and alternate arrangements later, a worker from the ICRC in Jammu boarded a plane and took his first-ever plane ride to hand deliver the passport by Monday night, so the wedding could go on. Phew...disaster averted!

So Tuesday...The court appointment was for 11 a.m. and thankfully was only a short walk down the street.

The "courthouse" itself was a grouping of buildings, rather nondescript. Those of us attending lurked out front... 

With my dad:

...until some signal (still don't know what that was) that sent us all scurrying after the bride- and groom-to-be. We traipsed up these scary wooden stairs in a rather decrepit building which reminded me of something from the Soviet 50s...and ended up outside a room with this sign:

The Americans in the bunch got a kick out of number four, of course.

We crammed into this wood-paneled room with a couple desks and beat up file cabinets, and watched as Anna, Ashish and their three witnesses signed some paperwork:

  

Meanwhile, we non-Hindi speakers weren't really sure what we were seeing - was this "the moment"? Was there any announcement? Nope...suddenly we all turned and filed back out of this room, down the stairs, and over to another building, where we stood around confused until finally getting the message that the judge who had to sign the official document was in THIS room. Can anyone say... bureaucracy? 

Waiting for the judge:

He looks...

Another official stamps...

...and the happy couple is declared husband and wife!

No, there is no kissing the bride in polite company. There is handing out of sweets, however:

...and bindi-fication:

...and feeding sweets to each other!

The couple emerged from the crowded chamber to a flurry of rose petals, and a lei bedecking:

4/1: editing to add more information from Anna on what I called leis: 

"The leis that they put on us outside the courthouse are called 'jaimala,' and are actually an integral part of the Hindu wedding ceremony.  The bride and groom have to garland each other (I think this signifies the marriage as being accepted or final??) before walking around the fire."

Bride, Groom, Witnesses and The Paper!

Now the parties begin!

Luncheon followed at the Embassy...followed by relaxing briefly in preparation for the night.

I think that was enough pictures for one post, so party coming up in the next :)

Elfie's big weekend

Sorry, another non-India post to announce E's other big feat of the weekend:

In case you can't see the grin...closer, still in action!

Concentrate...concentrate:

And finally, stopped:

When she decided it was time to ride a two-wheeler, she indeed just DID it!

More on India soon, I promise :)

<~PAUSE~>

We interrupt the India session to bring you more local excitement:

Evelyn decided a few weeks ago that she wanted to get her ears pierced. Clara started asking at age three; we told her if she still really wanted to do it at four, she could do so for her birthday. Sure enough, at four, she was ready! Evelyn has never asked, never mentioned it, until more recently. Out of the blue a few weeks back, she told me she really wanted to do it.

We took her to Claire's today, hoping to have her watch another girl getting pierced...but there was nobody, and she was adamant.

She chose her birthstone as her piercing set, and sat stoically in the chair as the manager pierced one, then the other ear. Not a tear, not a flinch...just pure glee and excitement! She cleaned her ears four times this afternoon...and was beyond thrilled to respond to my comments all evening: "El, there's something on your ears!" "Mah-ahm, that's my earrings!"

When El puts her mind to something, there is no backing out, no wimping out, no half-hearted attempts. This girl has gumption!

.

India: Chapter Three

Mendhi Monday.

Another delicious breakfast, and a low-key morning. Showers, conversation, excitement. Anna and I went across the street to a salon for mani/pedis and some threading (for Anna - I haven't braved that one yet).

The salon was lovely, and provided the best service of the three salons we visited (actually, Anna said it was her best salon experience in three years in India!). If you are ever in the Civil Lines area of North Delhi, by all means, go to the Affinity Salon (right by the metro stop, "Civil Lines")!

I had my first ever "French manicure" (loved it), and a polish change for my toes...did I ever feel spoiled! Two salons in two days?! Ahhhh...

We also hit the Exchange store (Indian version of a quickie-mart) and stocked up on snacks for the evening...

Around 4:00, Ashish and the mendhi artists showed up, and the festivities began...

Anna was the first (her mendhi was much more intensive and lasted hours):

Being the sister, I got to jump in at the beginning as well...

But sadly, my body failed me this afternoon. I was the first of the group to finally succumb to the dreaded "Delhi Belly" and went down for the count right after I had one hand completed. I had hoped to have both done, but my stomach was so tender, I had no choice but to retire into my room and sleep for the evening, missing out on all the fun of the (possibly) first-ever co-ed mendhi party in Delhi ;)

We were fortunate to have our lovely Alaskan neighbors Hal and Susie along for the trip, and as it happens, Hal is an ER doc, who traveled with some good drugs...here you see the hand-off for the attempt to stave off my GI issues (it bought me one hand of mendhi, at least):

So my in-person report of the party is sorely lacking, and I'm more than a little bummed that I missed it...but at least my fantastic husband checked in on me frequently, it was a great success (many of the men were thrilled to be part of it for the first time), and our secret bridal shower party for Anna was carried out in my sick room, so that I could be a part of it!

Let me just say, this was probably one of the oddest lingerie parties ever...Anna couldn't use her hands, as her mendhi was still drying, and Indians don't DO lingerie parties, or discuss sex among unmarried women (yet a few were invited into the room for the event), but Anna walked away with some lovely night wear, and I was able to see the fruition of my super-secret-sizing-spy-work I had done before the trip (sorry again, Anna LOL).

My mom's high school friend Kathy did the unwrapping, while the rest of us oohed and ahed without touching:

Anna read her cards, assisted again by Kathy:

Here are more pictures from the part that I missed :(

By the way, there were LOTS of people at the party - I just don't have the pictures to show all the fun, since I was tucked in bed, cautiously hanging my hand over a pillow and trying valiantly not to touch it to anything while fading in and out of sleep on my delicate stomach.

The bride's feet:

drying:

My mom's hands, up close:

Anna's feet in the morning, before showering all the crusties off:

And my hand, the next morning (please note the manicure):

Mom's hands, the next day:

I didn't get to capture Anna's hands specifically, but you'll see the fantastic results in the wedding pictures to come!

Of note, it is thought that the darker your mendhi, the more your husband loves you. I think I am particularly blessed, as I have dark spots after almost three weeks. Yes, I am indeed loved <3

Also of note, my GI issues were short-lived, and by the next morning I was back to normal!

Stay tuned for Tuesday!

India: chapter two bonus material

How could I have forgotten?? I completely left out Sunday evening in my previous entry:

After tea with the family, and before the Embassy take-out dinner, Anna, Anu and I went to a salon for some primping. Ashish dropped us off, and we were whisked away into our respective rooms...without going in to too much detail, let me suffice it to say, Jen's lesson of the day: when having waxing done in a foreign country, it might be a good idea to have an interpreter with you if you are at all picky about just how much waxing you had in mind!

(for those keeping track, spa services such as waxing run only a few bucks each...pedicures run about $5-6)

After the excitement of the salon, we loaded into a rickshaw (yep, totally as cool as I thought it would be) and headed to a watch shop (it turns out my brother-in-law has a rather extensive watch collection, and Anna was hoping to add to it as a wedding gift).

(check out the crowd this rickshaw guy is hauling around!)

Pleasing this Delhi newbie, while in the rickshaw, and just as promised by Anna, I had my first sighting of cows-in-the-street (soon enough, I saw many more...but the cows of Shalimar Bagh were my first!).

(this picture is not actually in Shalimar Bagh, but you get the idea!)

There - now you have the complete weekend story :) I'll try to write up Monday (the mendhi party) this weekend.

More pictures that go with previous posts!

Just got some more pics, and figured you blog readers might enjoy them :)

On the plane TO Delhi:

Having much fun?

Mom's sari and Ashish's mom (from Sunday):

More shots from my first ever sari wearing (the woman in purple with green scarf is Deepa):

Anna, Ashish and me (gee, think we girls are related? If not, click and look in large format!):

Wedding festivities next! Stay tuned.

India, Chapter Two.

Pre-festivities weekend:

Saturday morning. My 35th birthday. Stumble out of bed towards the living space, and realize the first amazing aspect of life in Delhi: servants. Seriously. Jugdeesh was our main man, who served us breakfast, lunch and dinner, filled our tea and coffee, brought filtered water, ironed shirts, and kept everything tip-top on our floor.

We had a fabulous meal (though the Nescafe instant coffee did NOT satisfy, and I'm just not a fan of tea, sadly), and were not allowed to clear our own dishes, or refill our own drinks. I hate to admit how quickly this became the norm...when we tried to serve ourselves, it seemed to fluster poor Jugdeesh more than it satisfied our need to do our own work!

Ashish and his sister Anu and brother Sameer joined us and we started the trek to Fab India at GK (Greater Kailash), a mere hour drive mid-morning, through that same traffic we already discussed...

We spent some time gleefully feeling the myriad textures and soaking in the colors of three floors of clothing...and purchased a few items while we were at it, of course! For me, a purple tunic top (~$8) and a lehenga choli (skirt and blouse set with scarf) to wear to one of the wedding parties (~$20); for Dan and my father, 100% silk kurta pyjamas (long shirts with pants) (~$50). You will see the pictures in a future post!

After shopping, we headed across the street to the Turtle Cafe for lunch, and Ashish's brother Mukul and his wife Deepa joined us as well, and for my birthday presented me with two books on India: The Indians and India After Ghandi. I look forward to learning more about my sister's adopted country!

We divided forces after this, and Dan, Ashish, Anna, Sameer and I went in search of jooti (dress shoes) for Ashish and Dan, and for a jacket for Sameer. One of the more interesting elements of our visit for me was the variation in dress: you saw everything from jeans and tee shirts to saris, and of course every permutation in between. We found jooti at Janpath (located on one of the spokes radiating out of Connaught Place (CP)), and dined across the street at Saravana Bhavan, which Dan and I decided was our new favorite place (thankfully, they are all over the world now: Sunnydale, CA, here we come!). The main food? Masala Dosa, which was served with four delicious sauces. I think I could have stayed there in my seat for the next ten days...

We also circled CP (one of the premier shopping areas of Delhi):

 in search of the perfect jacket for Sameer - he settled on a cordoroy one, and we headed back to Sham Nath Villa.

As like most nights, we stayed up chatting at the dining room table, sipping Kingfisher and Black Label beers until ungodly hours...(like 3 am)...before settling into our rock-hard bed.

Sunday morning we dined, and then headed on the metro to the home of Ashish and his family (from Civil Lines on the yellow line to Kohat Enclave on the red line, if you care for a visual). I have traveled enough to have taken many metros around the world...but the security of the Delhi Metro was a first for me...

After purchasing a Prox Card for each of us, we went through a metal detector, segregated by gender. A matched-gender security officer then "wanded" each of us, and did a quick pat-down, after which we put bags through the x-ray machine, waved our cards, and finally accessed the metro.

Ah, if only the trip were so simple! We no sooner boarded the train (my mom, dad, Dan, Anna and me), than the men-folk started staring at Anna and me. I knew this was a likely possibility, as I've heard Anna's stories over the last few years. However, I was still unprepared for the rude, tactless stare-down that occurred. I will admit, I look at people, but when they catch my eye, I smile and immediately turn my head...not so The Delhi Men. If I caught their eye, they continued to stare, with no hesitation, no embarrassment, and no attempt to disguise it. On this particular metro ride (Anna warned us we were out of tourist zones, and in to "no white folk" territory), I think every man in the vicinity (oh, six or so?) was staring at the two of us...Anna, well accustomed to such vulgarity by now, told our father to ask the closest (most slack-jawed) guy what he was staring at. In one of my most memorable moments from this trip, my dad did just that: he turned to the guy, and asked quite forcefully, "What are you looking at?" The man turned three shades of red, turned his head, and never looked over again!! Around the same time, Dan gave another guy a look that turned him away as well. Go Chuck and Dan!

At the family home, we joined with Anu, Sameer, Deepa and Mukul, and also met Ashish's mother and father. We enjoyed tea and snacks, and Mom and I were gifted beautiful silk saris. Here we are originally trying it out:

 

And after my blouse was complete (got the pallu a tad short - oops):

 

(the blue part is the sari - the gold blouse was actually made-to-order later for me...more on that in a later post!)

Upon return to Sham Nath, we headed across the street to the Embassy Restaurant, where the wait was long...my parents' neighbors from Homer, AK had just arrived for the festivities, and were joining us for dinner. We opted to order out, and returned to Sham Nath Villa (just across the street) to dine.

In the company of friends, old and new, we ended the pre-wedding weekend...

To be continued, again.

India, Chapter One.

The first in a long series of posts about our trip to India and my sister's wedding:


Early Thursday morning (February 18), my uncle dropped us at the San Diego airport. We had an uneventful flight to Chicago, sitting in the two seats of a two-three configuration. In Chicago, we worked our way towards the American Airlines Club (the first perk of flying Business class), and settled in to wait seven hours for the rest of our group and the big flight.

Three of my mom's high school friends and my parents met us in the club, where we excitedly chatted and sipped on adult beverages in peace. We boarded around 7 at night and immediately took advantage of the free-flowing champagne

 

and the other marvels of flying in luxury for the first time (yes, we were totally dorks - this is a video, so be sure to click on it - sorry about the awful face-freeze shot):

We ended up waiting on the plane for two hours before finally taking off...but for the first time in my flying life, I DIDN'T CARE! We were having altogether too much fun, kid-free, champagned-up, and watching movies on demand.

A few hours into the flight, I decided to sleep for a while...and I woke up EIGHT HOURS later. Yep, my best night of sleep in eight years, and it was on an airplane. Who knew!?

So...after flying over Greenland, Finland, Russia, and Kabul, Afganistan (thank goodness for 41,000 feet), we arrived at the Indira Ghandi International Airport on Friday, February 19, right around midnight. We gathered our bags and were greeted by my sister, her fiance, his brother and sister-in-law, and some friends. Mom and I were handed beautiful floral bouquets, and we were ushered to cars for the drive to our guest house.

Oh the drive. Let me tell you, it made for quite an introduction to India. Mom, Anna and I rode in one car, while the men-folk took the other - an arrangement made reasonable by the fact that my sister's Hindi skills are on par with the natives!

So...we left the airport and immediately hit traffic. Did I mention this was at midnight? I quickly discovered that despite the lines of paint winding down the roads in Delhi, drivers don't actually use lanes. The road is shared with trucks, cars, dogs, auto-rickshaws (tuk-tuks), bicycle rickshaws, camels, motorcycles, scooters, cows, bikes, elephants, and pedestrians. On a three-lane road, at least five, if not six vehicles will be crammed next to each other, within inches, dancing through the streets accompanied by the music of incessant horns blaring. Oh, and sometimes, drivers go up the wrong way of streets, if they decide they want to go where THOSE streets lead, not where the proper direction streets take them. Since I didn't take pictures at midnight, you'll have to make do with these daytime shots...

 

So now, imagine: midnight, crusty old car, no seatbelts, pretty much scene set as the pictures show (but dark). Bouncing up the wrong direction of a street, facing trucks and cars who really don't care to move out of your way, no medians, no curbs...and no clue what the driver and the only Hindi-speaker are saying! We kept hitting construction and not being able to go where the driver obviously wanted to go...so we circled a few times, backtracked, and drove places I'm pretty sure cars should not have driven. About an hour later, we arrived at the serene guesthouse, which Anna and Ashish had kindly stocked with nibbles and booze...and by the way, my plug for this post: if you are ever in Delhi needing a place to stay, Sham Nath Villa is a must!

  

 

We stayed up late, and finally retreated to our respective rooms - mom and dad, Dan and me, and poor exhausted Anna, who had just flown in from Jammu earlier in the day after a long week at work...

to be continued